"I'm not asking for you to pick a side,

since we are family there is only one side to choose;

mine.

" -Sopranos (thankfully my family isn't mobster but still take my side)

I have been ignoring texts, phone calls, angry voice mails etc, because of this someone chose to call my family and plead their case to them, for an hour. I'm not sure what they thought was going to get accomplished,(nor do I care) I find it as a pathetic last resort kind of plea from a person who is so unstable it really doesn't matter does it? It's too easy to plead my case or claim innocence or lies. In a relationship only the two people in it knows what goes on and even that's skewed from each others view. Asking for a third party (or fourth in this case) to take your side or plead a case is just as confusing, why must sides me drawn or exists at all when both parties have parted? To judge, to sway them to take up your cause? Casting judgement is not anyone's job or something that should be done, but we all do it. I'm not afraid to be judged by my peers or family or ex's or strangers for that matter, because when it counts, only god can judge me and have it count. Not you. When someone moves on in life and chooses a career or to not love someone anymore, acts of desperation are expected of course,just not to to this level. It's sadder to me, (not so much upsetting).It cast's shadows over the good times. No one in life can claim innocence, but i choose silence as my answer. Not because I am weak, ambivalent or angry. I choose silence because there are a million faults we can bring to each other (or families) with anyone and it wouldn't change anything. I am not saying anyone is at fault for having a listening ear or hearing the voice of a fool. Not at all. It does no harm to me when i know my own truth and how much of weight was lifted off of me when i ended something that should have been ended years ago. But i was scared, scared to be alone. To be a failure. It took me so long of being unhappy to realize something;

you cant get someone (or yourself) to change until the pain of staying the same is worse then the pain of changing. I know that first hand. I lived it. I breathed it. I cant ever go back to that. I'm free.

I do know, in my heart, when a boyfriend or girlfriend of my child calls me to say something about my child or Felicity, I will never give them the time of day, I will not and could not take the side of someone other then my flesh and blood, I will not jump to conclusions or side with lies, because there will be no question of sides. There will only be one. My families.